Review: BIOWELLNESS ON DANFORTH

[Bard S]

The Danforth wars appear to be over, with the Asian contingent soundly trumped by East European hordes. The difference between the two sensibilities, from an admittedly limited experience, is that the Chinese studios proffer a legit message--ranging from indifferent to incredible--followed by the happy ending, whereas EE studios offer a rub as an hors d'oeuvre for the real business at hand, the extras: topless, bottomless, NR, BS, the works.

In this, Biowellness at Main and Danforth is simply one of many. There was just one MPA, Alice, on hand when I arrived, and her friendly demeanor persuaded me to stay. The surroundings are cleaner and more attractive than most, and the fresh, crisp paper sheet on the massage table suggested some attention to detail.

Alice, from the Ukraine, is a pleasant woman in her 40s, not everyone's cup of vodka. Forget massage: Alice cut right to the chase with a rub and a fine lot of teasing, and the customary slate of extras from half-nude ($20) to BS ($80). I opted for bottomless and she proved quite uninhibited. She didn't come off as a clock-watcher, didn't chew gum and the finish was more adept than most.

Not a great one, but better-than-average. As I was leaving, a younger, quite attractive woman had just arrived. Who knows? Price $40 at the door, plus $20. BIOWELLNESS SPA, 2428 Danforth Ave., 416-686-7331.

 

[Net Expert]

You mean NOBODY cares about Biowellness?

 

[hourse]

We all care deeply

(I hope that sounded sincere)

And yes all new reviews are of use.
Perhaps no one else has been to that one...yet

 

[quailie234]

I had the worst time and would never go back. There was 1 woman there and from reading other write ups I believe it was Natasha. She had a nice body but was older.

She thought I was a cop and gave me a pitch through out the half assed massage about how this was a legit place.

She wouldn't give me her name or even her nationality and gave me a hard time any time I tried to make small talk with her. She offered a hard or soft massage and when I asked for a hard massage she complained about having arthritis and being too sore. She complained to me all through the message and barely gave me even a light touch. She was too busy yapping at me and becoming more and more aggravated to do anything else.

When she kept complaining about being suspicious of me I told her to relax. If all she wanted to do was just give me a massage I would be happy with that. My back was sore and I could use a massage but she wasn’t even any good at that.

In the end I walked out before the session was over and without leaving a tip. As I was getting up to leave she squirted some lotion into her hand and told me she would give me a tug job but I wasn’t into it and by her expression she wasn't either. She looked like she would rip it off not rub it off.

She stormed out of the room and accidentally locked herself out. When she came back I was getting dressed and she started pounding on the door to let her in. When she came in she asked me if she should search for recording devices after I left.

All in all a no star performance.


Oh, Ps. If it was a legit place you would think she could give a decent massage at least. I wasn't going to write a review about the place but my experience was just so poor I had to.

 

[maca]

Echo Roger