RED FLAG! NOT?

[Chas]

I think I threw away $65 today. I called back a man who had requested a massage today. I asked him where he got the number and why he wanted to book a massage  (do you have any pain)?   He said he was just driving by the place, didn't have any pain, was just looking for pleasure(!) and relaxation. I told him I didn't think I was the person he was looking for. He said, "Oh, no, I'm not looking for anything sexual".  I didn't know what to say and babbled something about I do mostly corrective therapy for pain relief. I gave him the name of someone who specializes in relaxation massage. I think I'm kicking myself, but laughing a little too.

 

[JarArrize]

RED FLAG! NOT?

is there a typo in there? or at least a missing "not"?Being cautious is bound to rule out a genuine enquiry every now and then, but I'd rather miss out on a client than have to go through the "no, it's not that kind of massage" speech again.

 

[Pompal 09.]

RED FLAG! NOT?

There was, thanks. (shows my inner conflict even more.)

 

[Richey]

RED FLAG! NOT?

From melb

is there a typo in there? or at least a missing "not"?

Reading the post without the "not" in it was kinda funny, but makes the post take a completely different turn, lol.

Jdcan, better to be safe than sorry. It's kinda odd having a man come out and tell someone they're looking for pleasure and relaxation, just seems a little fishy. Whether he was looking for more than what we provide or not, it's probably best to not take the chance. Besides, it would have added some tension while you were giving him a massage, thinking "okay, is he going to ask for anything else? WHY IS HIS HAND MOVING?! What did he mean when he asked how my day has gone?" He may or may not have wanted anything else, but at least you don't have to worry about it!

 

[erygzuss]

I agree that you did the right thing by not taking him. He may have said that he was not looking for anything sexual, but how do you really know. آ You wouldn't have wanted to put yourself into a situation that may have turned bad.I had a client that sent up a few minor flags (thought maybe just difference in culture) during his first call for an appointment.  I took him anyway and I worked on him about 11 times on a regular basis with no problems.  During the last massage it took a negative turn and his is not allowed back.  

He may or may not have wanted anything else, but at least you don't have to worry about it! آ 

You can never be too careful.

 

[Nes S]

RED FLAG! NOT?

From Masthera

You can never be too careful.

Yes, you can. Especially with overly strict screening.

I bet the man was innocent. He was just using "layman's terminology". I think a few more questions were in order. Thank the $65 good-by.

 

[Rancidbearsgrease]

Bye, $65.    Thanks for stopping by.

 

[Kwonbaby]

RED FLAG! NOT?

From Voyager:

I think a few more questions were in order.

Like what?

Do you have any HELPFUL suggestions? (preferably without attacking)

 

[angiebear]

RED FLAG! NOT?

Well thanks BJB; but, I didn't go with my gut. I just kind of panicked when I heard the word 'pleasure'. I did phrase my next sentence open-ended enough, I hope, that he wasn't accused and could lead the conversation from there. I'm still not sure what else I could have said. I do think it would have been naive of me to accept an appointment from someone who just told me that they were driving by and wanted a massage for pleasure and relaxation.And, no, I would not have referred him to anyone (even my enemy), if I thought he was looking for sex! I would just say "I am a health professional. I don't offer those services. You've called the wrong place". That's what I said the first time it happened, when my gut was right.

 

[matt89 veteran of yahoo]

Better to be kicking yourself about the loss of $65 than to be kicking yourself because you didn't listen to your inner gut.  He may very well have been innocent and used the wrong choice of words, but then again maybe not.  If I was him and got called on it, I would have said I wasn't looking for sex either.  He was probably embarrassed that he was wrong about the kind of place you are.  If he was driving by, he could have easily stopped in instead of calling.  I think it's rare that someone just drives by somewhere and decides to pop in for a massage just to relax.  If they have a kink in their neck all week and it's gotten bad and they are driving by, they might say "I need a massage NOW."  Stopping by Wawa for a cup of coffee takes 5 minutes.  If you stop in for a service like getting your haircut at the last minute, it's usually because you NEED a haircut.  Unless someone is in another city on business and has a lot of time to kill, they don't usually just decide to get a massage for pleasure and relaxation on a whim.  Certainly it happens and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.  I would just be leary of a call like that too.  

 

[audubano]

RED FLAG! NOT?

JD you did the right thing. "Pleasure" is a big word in our services. I would wonder if he wasn't subtly "feeling you out" for the permission to ask for extras while you were massaging, since he intro'd the concept when he told you he was looking for "pleasure and relaxation". Yes, there's a chance that it might have been an "innocent" remark, but who needs the aggravation of having to "correct" someone later, and appearing as if the situation was already "understood" and perhaps (from his point of view) "agreed upon" when you gave him an appointment? Good Job!

 

[Mrs.Heretic]

RED FLAG! NOT?

From Voyager

Yes, you can. Especially with overly strict screening. I bet the man was innocent. He was just using "layman's terminology". I think a few more questions were in order. Thank the $65 good-by.

I am glad that you can be this confident about dealing with these types of situations, but due to my past experiences, I would rather be TOO careful and not take the appointment then to get caught in a situation that I don't want to be in.

 

[? ?? ?r??? s??rs]

RED FLAG! NOT?

I am glad that you can be this confident about dealing with these types of situations

Voyage can be so confident, because Voyage has previously posted that Voyage is not a therapist, but an "experienced receiver", so Voyage doesn't have to deal with these type of situations.

 

[mami_pabon]

    I get quiet a few "drive by's" ay my current shop. The sign I invested in has paid off tremendously. I, too, always ask "how did you hear about me?" because I want to know what marketing tool I tried that actually worked!    I'm not sure what kind of set up you have as far as where youre located, or if youre in there alone, but always follow your instincts.

 

[Marijn]

RED FLAG! NOT?

Voyage can be so confident, because Voyage has previously posted that Voyage is not a therapist, but an "experienced receiver", so Voyage doesn't have to deal with these type of situations.

That was my thought as well. As soon as they posted that, I searched their previous posts, and saw that Voyage was just a receiver, so I just completely ignored the post, lol. In one ear, out the other, as they say. ;D

 

[Mercedes]

Voyage can be so confident, because Voyage has previously posted that Voyage is not a therapist, but an "experienced receiver", so Voyage doesn't have to deal with these type of situations.

Good to know.  Thanks!

 

[Hershey]

RED FLAG! NOT?

He may have said that he was not looking for anything sexual, but how do you really know.  

You can never be too careful.[/quote]

Hey, no means no, right? He said he was not looking ......why is it ok to believe or assume that all men are liars?

 

[ATV HOPEFUL I]

......why is it ok to believe or assume that all men are liars?

Mick, I am not assuming that all men are liars. :?
I am just saying that (IMO) it is better to be safe than sorry.
If someone gets a weird feeling about a caller/client they should follow their instincts. Everytime I haven't followed my "bad feelings" about someone I regretted it later. I have had some male clients who come in for the first time, say they are not looking for anything sexual, and then eventually they ask or try to take matters into their own hands.

The majority of male clients are great and are coming in for professional work, but there are some out there that are looking for something more and we all need to be protective of that. A situation can turn bad very quickly.
So being a female therapist working from home and from my past experiences, I go with my instincts.

On a different note:
Have you ever had a female client expecting extras?

 

[ghyukilofr]

......why is it ok to believe or assume that all men are liars?

If someone gets a weird feeling about a caller/client they should follow their instincts. Everytime I haven't followed my "bad feelings" about someone I regretted it later. I have had some male clients who come in for the first time, say they are not looking for anything sexual, and then eventually they ask or try to take matters into their own hands.

Gotta go with my Cyber-twin on this one. I also have learned that I Must Trust my instincts. Every time my intuition said... I think this person is going to be "trouble," I would try and sternly talk to myself and tell myself that I was imagining it. But, as the massage developed something was usually said or done that made me realize my intuition was Right. Therefore I have learned to "trust my gut" when it tells me someone is "bad news." Conversely, I've always trusted it when my gut told me that I was going to be really good friends with someone. But when I my intuition says that someone's going to be trouble... I definitely have learned to take notice. Even if I decide to go ahead and do the massage, at least I've went in prepared and confident I've done everything I can possibly think of to be safe. And if things go bad, I have a plan to get out or get help.
That being said, any kind of assault is VERY rare in the small city where I live. So, no I don't expect men to be liars, or to be out to cause some trouble for me. But I don't think it hurts to do Everything you can think of to Feel Safe either. Do You Mick?

 

[Farwood]

Cool pic, Maestra.

Mick, I don't want to sound accusatory to all the males who don't verbalize a specific massage issue. I also want to be safe, not naive. Those looking for other services don't usually come right out and say it. So, what questions do you suggest I ask that would not offend?