How could my friend prevent her ex introducing their kids to his new partner?

[Mummy_to_one_and_bump]

A close friend of mine was recently deserted by her husband, he left her for another woman, who he got to know through work.

This woman is, quite frankly, a mess. Her own partner left her after sexually and physically abusing her for several years. There were also drugs involved I beleive. She had a nervous breakdown and kept attempting suicide, whereupon her three children were taken into care. She is now recovering from this ordeal and I believe she seduced my friend's husband as she is very lonely and needy - he's a very foolish man who was flattered by her attentions and has decided to dump his wife and two children and set up home with this woman.

He wants to introduce his children to his new partner, but my friend is afraid for several reasons. He's never been a very good dad, never had a lot of patience with the kids (my friend had to do most of the parenting herself) and given that his new squeeze is a veritable headcase whose *own* children have been taken away by social services, my friend is deeply worried about letting this pair get their hands on her kids!! Surely if this woman is not considered fit to care for her own children, she isn't fit to care for anyone else's either?

Is there any way that she can prevent her ex taking the kids to visit/stay with him and his new partner. Beleive me, she is not just doing this out of spite, she is geniuinely worried about what might happen to them in the care of this pair!!

We live in the UK.

 

[Kit Fang]

If she really believes that the new partner would be a danger to her children, either because of drug abuse or what happened to her other children, she should approach social services, or the courts. She could try and make it part of the custody agreement that this woman who is a threat is not left with the children unsupervised, but she would have to go through the courts.

 

[Phil]

I would guess it works the same way there as in the US -- she has to go to court and make the case. However it is different in that there is no legal relationship between Daddy's squeeze and the kids. She is not even nominally in charge of them, they are not in her care. I guess there would be a presumption that she's not fit to care for them then she cannot be unsupervised with them. Really she needs to talk it over with a solicitor who specializes in this area.

 

[erskine]

Hi there
If what you say is true then there is no way Social Services would allow this woman and your friend's husband to have unsupervised contact with the children.
Tell your friend to contact your local Social Services to share her concerns. The Social Worker could then arrange for supervised contact to take place at a Contact Centre.
I hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes.