Client/therapist relationship???

[Cheese]

Handsonlmt describes a scenario which I have yet to experience in my 7 years as a massage therapist: the client that instantly relaxes and accepts my skillful bodywork because they can somehow sense from my touch that they can trust my care, compassion, empathy, and non-judgement. Oh, if it were only that easy!!

Friendship and the client-practitioner relationship are certainly not mutually exclusive. I am talking about friendship within the treatment and office...Many (most) people do not blindly trust a therapist no matter how impeccably professional they present themselves and their treatment space. Many people, myself included can relax and accept and get something out of a massage treatment only when feeling a rapport, common ground with the person that has their hands on them. Sometimes this takes many sessions to feel at ease with a therapist. It often includes a give and take of conversation perhaps including what some people would call "personal" information. Many clients relax while chatting. Even more can only relax after they have talked about that which has been annoying them about their husband/wife/teenager/boss all week--and they are not about to share that information with you unless they know you've been there.

I agree that a massage therapy session is the client's session. But it has been my experience that many clients don't want a session as described by McIntosh and Handsonlmt.

Somewhat reiterating what Stacey said, an ethical framework is exceedingly important, but making a conscious decision about what that is for you and your clients is even more so.

Noel

 

[Zixuang Zhou]

Friendship and the client-practitioner relationship are certainly not mutually exclusive. I am talking about friendship within the treatment and office.

I think it's important to distinguish between "being friendly" and "friendship". In my opinion, being personable & caring to clients -- asking about families, sharing a little about yourself, all fall in the "friendly" category. Seeing clients outside of work falls into the "friend" category. That second category is where problems can develop, simply because dual relationships pose definite challenges. I think that's what Handsonlmt was talking about.

 

[Icepath]

I think it's important to distinguish between "being friendly" and "friendship". In my opinion, being personable & caring to clients -- asking about families, sharing a little about yourself, all fall in the "friendly" category. Seeing clients outside of work falls into the "friend" category. That second category is where problems can develop, simply because dual relationships pose definite challenges. I think that's what Handsonlmt was talking about.

Thank you Bliss. Your understanding of my post is correct and you have gone one step further and refined it to its essence.

I agree that a massage therapy session is the client's session. But it has been my experience that many clients don't want a session as described by McIntosh and Handsonlmt.

Seekingequanimity, I am not sure what you are trying to say in this statement. What type of session are you referring too?
As far as experiences go, and from what I have seen posted so far, the interaction between the MT and client is pretty standard. A friendly exchange and then we get down to business. Many of our clients share very personal information during a session, but that is not the basis for a friendship outside of the office setting. That has been my point all along- Sharing one hour of intimacy does not translate into a friendship. In my MT mode, that would be a selfish assumption on my part.

 

[thenoseknows]

Handsonlmt, you stated pretty unequivically (in bold typing) in your post that there is no place for friendship in the office. I disagree. But, apparently we also have different definitions of what a friendship is. So, perhaps we aren't so far apart on this issue?

I don't agree that a friendship does not exist if there is no contact outside of the office. I am "friendly" with all my clients. And then there are other clients where there is a connection; and it is warmer and more than just friendly. ( and hard to describe) In paraphrasing one of the points you are trying to make: is that we, as therapists should not be using our clients as an outlet for friendship, or putting any friendship-type responsibilities onto our clients. --this I whole-heartedly agree.

I thought I described pretty well that my experience has been that many clients need to feel that connection and friendship to be able to unwind and relax and receive massage. That is the type of session I was referring to. I hope you did not feel that I was disparaging your approach to treatment sessions, and I apologize if it came across like that.

Noel

 

[Daddy B]

I thought I described pretty well that my experience has been that many clients need to feel that connection and friendship to be able to unwind and relax and receive massage. That is the type of session I was referring to. I hope you did not feel that I was disparaging your approach to treatment sessions, and I apologize if it came across like that.

Noel

I believe the connection "type of session" you share with your clients is the "standard" in the business of Massage Therapy. In other words, yours is not a unique experience. Please understand, this is not a slight but the nature of our business.
However, I believe that it is important that we read the intitial post again-carefully. This woman has put a great deal of importance on what her MT says and does. That is a huge responsibilty. It is definately one that can be exploited by the MT or the client. She mentions that he offers her advise and guidance. She respects his opinion and has great trust for him. She is human and has a habit of becoming attached. What does that mean? Will she stalk him, call him late at night when she is feeling needy or in need of his advice? She assures us that "nothing romatic" is involved just "pure friendship". Next couple of posts she suggests that the things she shares with him are very deep and different from those he may be hearing from his "other clients". A connection much deeper then a friendship has crossed her mind. We all know and understand it as transference. The therapeutic relationship is not a friendship. It is a delicate balance of trust, compassion and care between the client and the MT. Care is required or as our poster has suggested, you can end up on a pedestal and it really hurts when you hit the ground